Story: The Most Beautiful Lady
by Jasmine
Summary: Zhui Mei is a lady who is searching... searching for the answer to the emptiness in her heart... searching for a reason to live a life that she wants to end so badly... searching for a hope and searching for Him.


Prolo

_For you created my inmost being;  
you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)_

The sea was so beautiful. She loved the music of the waves splashing to and fro, she loved to look at the sea whenever she felt that the sorrow within her was about to swallow her.

"You must be there, somewhere… …" she uttered, softly to herself. "Why… why did you make me?"

The sea splashed to and fro, it gave her a soothing feeling, a temporal comfort that eased away the meaninglessness of the daily routine of life and the needle-like pain that just would not disappear away from that fragile heart of hers.

"You must be very big," she smiled to herself. "I know you must be, or you won't be able to make the sea."

The moon stared from the night sky, wondering why a girl would be alone by herself at the beach near East Coast Park at a time when every school girl and boy ought to be asleep at home.

"Who are you?" She took a step towards the sea, into the shallowness of the water. "I will find up soon enough. I am tired… of this pathetic life of mine."

Two steps, three steps, four steps, five steps, farther and farther into the sea she went.

"You are a failure in society." The scream of Math's teacher, Mrs. Ho.

"You are hopeless." The sigh of her mother.

"Why aren't you like the other sisters out there in the world?" The disappointment of her younger sister.

The red marks in her examination scripts. The loneliness during lessons in school.

Nerds, she heard her classmates laughed secretly behind her back.

A pathetic life.

Needle-like pains pierced through her heart, pains she could not understand, pains that would not go away.

Into the water she went, deeper and deeper. Her face began to rain. She never understood the water that raced slowly down from her eyes. Needle-like pains.

The sea water was happy to dance around her waist.

He… seemed to be there somewhere, somewhere beyond the night sky, somewhere in a galaxy far away.

Who is he? Why did he make her, only to abandon her, to a cruel and hopeless world that did not want her? She wished she could hear his voice, once, just once, to know that he is real, to know that he is not a figment of men's imagination, to find up that there is a purpose, a reason behind why he made such a pathetic third class human being like her.

The sea water licked to and fro at her neck, some of them trying to reach up to her nostril to no avail.

Soon, she will disappear away into the sea, into the night sky, and the unhappy faces and angry voices that never left her would finally cease from her memories forever.

"I love you, Zhui Mei." Something spoke into her mind.

Huh?

"Is that you, God?" She exclaimed. There was no answer. There was no more noise in her mind.

Was that her imagination, or… was it from him?

She continued to walk into the deeper part of the sea water. What was it like to have life extinguished?

"I love you, Zhui Mei. I love you, Zhui Mei." This time, whoever it was spoke twice into her mind.

"You didn't want me to die, God?"

There was no reply, again. It was pure silence. But somehow, her desire to end her life wavered. Perhaps, it wasn't her imagination that spoke to her. Perhaps, there was still someone… whoever he may be… someone who did not think that she was a failure, someone who did not felt that this was a life that was cheap and worthless. Someone who could see some worth in an otherwise, unworthy subhuman.

"I hate my life!" She burst into tears as she walked towards the beach, away from the deeper part of the sea. "No one likes me, no one wants me, no one cares if I live or die, no one thinks I am worth anything at all."

He, nobody in particular, appeared to be listening. The only person in the universe who bothered to listen to the rants of a third class citizen among the people around her. As "he" listened to her, she poured out all of her life frustrations unto his shoulders, and a heavy load was somehow lifted off from her for that little moment.

Sigh, if only he was real and not her imagination.


End file.
